Holly, There are no words to say. I totally relate to your article as I am trying to live without my husband. He collapsed in front of me Feb. 2020. I was/am still in shock. We had 42 years together and it wasn't enough. We have no children, I am totally alone and trying to figure out how to live the rest of my life without him. He was my everything. I have been trying to write about it hoping to heal. Please try your best to take care of yourself. I know it's easier said then done. You must be out of your mind with sadness. I could have highlighted most of your article, because so much of it resembled my life. Try to breathe and stay calm. I am so sorry. Prayers and hugs to you.