I can certainly relate to many of the points in your story. So sorry about the death of your daughter. My husband and I bought an 1800's center hall colonial with a lot of acreage in 1999. It had a beautiful setting with big maple trees flanking the house. Too close to the house. Tree trimming is very expensive. We put in a well when we bought the house. It pumps 22 gallons a minute. Great water. Fresh and no chemicals. We installed a new oil furnace when we moved in. The house has steam radiators and the furnace has a fill tube for water for the radiators. It should of had an automatic filler, but it didn't. So it has to be checked daily when it's running a lot. No water in the tube means no heat, as it automatically shuts off. My husband forgot to check it a couple of times and we woke up with no heat. One of those nights it was 9 below zero. He filled the tube, it wouldn't kick on, so he had to call for help from furnace company. Very cold night in the wee hours of the morning. The radiators began to fail. They developed leaks, caused floor damage and ceiling damage on the first floor. The windows were very old, some even had wavy glass. We loved them and fought to keep them. Only one in the second floor hall would open, so last summer that was the only window I opened for air. I kept fans running on both floors. There's a roof leak that we could never find. My husband collapsed and died on the front path going to the car February 2020.He was walking in front of me and fell into the snow. We didn't get to say anything. As I stood there with his body, I looked at my house and knew that I would have to leave it. The house had been our protector for all those years. It always felt like a big hug to me. I sold and moved February 2021. It was heart wrenching to leave our home, knowing that the people who bought it are going to gut it. When it was inspected I was told that the septic system had failed and I would need to pay for a new one for the buyer. Only $ 27,000 , right off the top at closing. My house had a lot of history about it and the land. The buyers are destroying everything. I had to get rid of most of my personal belongings , as I bought a much smaller property. There is always maintenance on a house. There are some things that always need attention. The house I bought was built in 1910 and I am spending money on some issues and then I will do some cosmetic work. Before I left my house, I had a conversation with it. I told it that I would always love it and I packed my memories in my heart. I told it that it would be getting some work done and I thanked it for protecting me . It was very special to me, as my husband loved it so much. I could not afford to stay there alone and the memories would suffocate me.

The last day I was in my house was when the movers were finishing up. It was a cloudy snowy day. It looked so sad and empty of all my precious belongings. I was the last one to leave the driveway, I snapped a few pictures and when I looked at the windows, I thought I saw a few tears in the windows.

Then I drove away for the last time.

I hope you can keep your home if that is your desire.

Can you refinance? Try every mortgage institution.

Can you get any cash out if you refinance? There must be a way to help you.

It is so sad ripping up your memories and your life.

Good luck and God Bless You.