I understand . Over 3 years for me and some days are good and then suddenly I regress. Those who have not suffered a death have no idea what you are going thru. And yes, animals suffer too, because they sense a loss and change. And they are sensitive to your emotional feelings. My dogs knew there was a big change in our life when my husband died. One of them kept going to the gate and looking down the path the way he always did when my husband came home from work. It was very sad. Too bad we can't explain to them what happened. I expect my grief to last a few more years. Trying to cope with everyday life. Take care of yourself. I have no family so it's a quiet journey.