My husband dropped dead in front of me in our yard 27 months ago on a Monday morning. Every Monday I relive the time line. There was no sound, no goodbyes. There are no words to make you feel better. Writing here on Medium has been helpful. Grief is my forever companion, but I hope it will get tired of me at some point. Grief is different for all of us. I lost 40 pounds the first 2 months after my husband died. Not eating anything but tomato soup. We were married 42 years and he was/is my world.I empathize for you and I am so sorry for your loss. We are never ready. Take care of yourself.