This is lovely, Kris, and so very relatable to me, as my husband died Feb.2020. So very sad. I am lost in the wilderness of life. Searching for a new direction, a way to learn to accept being alone. We were married 42 years and I still can't believe he's not coming home. I know exactly what you are saying. How long does it take to come out of this wilderness? I am totally alone, no kids or family. Don't know where I belong without him. I am so sorry for your loss. The heartache goes deep.